Can I not grow?
My daughter (we call her Ling here) developed schizophrenia many years ago. I didn’t understand why Ling was always irritable; neither did I know how to get on her. Our dispute had been deadlocked for a period of time. Whenever she raged, I also became heated. I was discontent with her bad attitudes, and disagreed with her nonsense behaviours. I tried shouting at her and even beat her. One day, we quarreled with each other yet again. After I hit her, she felt furious and desolate. And then, I saw a news reporting a suicidal case of a 25-year-old girl. Instantly, worry gushed from the bottom of my heart, that I knew what I feared – I could never see her again. That day onwards, I gradually changed myself and grew.
I started to accept Ling. Our relationship improved even until now. Recounting the moments, I found that only true love empowered me to take care of her and accept her. Love and support connected me, Ling and her sister, bringing us mutual support which lasts even now.
I was once in agony. One day, when I was in church, I couldn’t help crying and ask a priest, ‘Can I not grow?’ He replied, ‘No. You can only overcome them one by one.’ Yes, maybe God wished me to overcome all the difficulties. Luckily, I had my faith and laid my worries upon God. On my way, there were ups and downs, but I told myself I must go ahead every time, and stay tough. I should not step back; nor should I feel daunted. Unnoticeably, I gained something which I didn’t expect – I discovered that I grew a lot. I and Ling got through difficulties one after another.